Our ministry teams share personal reflections on Advent. This first article is written by Becky Sedgwick from Parenting for Faith.
25 November 2024
Advent: a work in progress
Advent has always been a thing for our family.
I grew up with those Advent calendars with the little hinged cardboard flaps that we carefully stuck back down after Christmas to use again. No chocolates hidden inside in those days! And my mother loved an Advent candle. It was ceremonially lit each morning as we had breakfast.
So Advent carries many memories for me. When my daughter was a toddler, I sewed her a felt Advent calendar with 24 big pockets, each one hiding a camel or an angel or a trumpet, and we loved using that for many years. (It still makes an appearance!) And I always buy an Advent candle, though I usually let it burn too long on about day three and end up looking at a wax-dripped number 23 for the rest of the month.
Advent carries many memories for me. When my daughter was a toddler, I sewed her a felt Advent calendar… It still makes an appearance!
The guilty reality
But my other Advent tradition is guilt.
It’s a bit like Lent. I know I ought to make it special, to find God close, to set aside time. In my head it’s going to be a spiritual journey, an almost pilgrimage where at the end I’ll be fully prepared, calm and expectant for the wonderful birth of Jesus, and be closer to God.
The reality? I’m rubbish at Advent.
I do try. I buy the Advent books. I come to the first Sunday of Advent fully prepared, in my head at least. I light the new candle with ceremony, summoning the family. But then it slips. The chaos of Christmas takes over, and guilt sneaks in like the spectre at the feast.
I wonder where the guilt comes from?
After all, Mary hardly spent the month before Jesus’ birth in quiet contemplation. She left her home town and who knows what sort of goodbye she had from her parents. They might have been furious and glad to see the back of this faithless girl; at best they might have seen this trip down south as a chance for Mary to get away from the gossip and the innuendo surrounding her by now obvious pregnancy. And who knows how Joseph was feeling. Was the journey spent in joyous harmony or was he still doubtful and even angry at their predicament?
The reality? I’m rubbish at Advent.
An uncomfortable journey
The week-long journey would have been uncomfortable and dangerous, the couple especially vulnerable to thieves and bandits. Then the chaos of Bethlehem, the presence of Roman soldiers adding to the air of nervousness, and the signs of imminent labour. Mary’s Advent would hardly have been peaceful or reflective.
So, as I think about Mary and Advent, I wonder if I’ve got it wrong. Maybe Advent should be about finding God in the chaos, the ever-crowded calendar, the shopping, the cooking, the journeys, the hopes and fears for this year’s Christmas? After all, isn’t that what Jesus did? There were times when he got away but had to climb a mountain to do so. More often, his plans for quiet were thwarted by the crowd; his boundaries were pushed and others’ agendas took priority.
I was reading the story of Jairus’ daughter recently. Jesus had had an intense few days criss-crossing Galilee. Mark tells us that he had been teaching the crowds, and then they get into a boat to cross to the other side of the lake. Exhausted by the day’s labours, Jesus falls asleep, only to have that interrupted when his disciples wake him. Coming ashore at Gadarene, they are met by the man with multiple demons and Jesus sends them into a massive herd of pigs – about 2,000 of them – and then has to leave the area. Then, as soon as they arrive back on the other side of the lake, Jesus is accosted by Jairus with his pleas for the teacher to heal his dying daughter. Crowds jostle Jesus, making his progress to Jairus’ house hard, and then he is touched by the woman with the issue of blood. He turns to her. Then the news comes: Jairus’ daughter is dead.
Maybe Advent should be about finding God in the chaos, the ever-crowded calendar, the shopping, the cooking, the journeys…
Finding God in the chaos
There is no calm in that moment. No calm to spend time with God or consult with wise friends. Just one moment of chaos after another. Yet somehow, in the midst of chaos, Jesus is able to find God and be God to those around him.
Maybe that’s my aim for this Advent. As the diary fills up, the obligations mount, the hopes and fears resurface and the unexpected raises its head, that’s something I can aim to do. I will still have my Advent candle. I will try to deliberately stop and spend time with God. But I won’t feel guilty this year. My aim is simply to try to find God in the chaos and try to be God to those around me. Advent without the guilt.
